We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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