That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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