My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
