Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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