i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
