I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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