dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
