fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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