so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
