Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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