His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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