omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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