i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
