She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
