I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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