these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
