Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
