i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize