So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
