She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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