It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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