I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
honey bunches of taint.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
