Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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