You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
