i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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