so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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