So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
