Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
