I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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