i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
