so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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