that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
