So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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