How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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