Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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