yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize