he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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