Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
