I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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