We're like a lot better than the average bears
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
