Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
