Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
