I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
