Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize