Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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