he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
