That's intense
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize