I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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