He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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