my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize