It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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