i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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