Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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