There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
