booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i think my cat just said my name.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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