I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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