I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
