My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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