What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
