Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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