Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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