the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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