I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
