i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
