The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
